An Unconventional Childhood Insight

 

As a child, I had an unusual approach to solving cereal box mazes: I always started at the end and traced my way back to the beginning. My grandmother, watching with amusement, would chuckle and say, “You’re doing it all backward. You're doing it wrong.” Little did I realize that her words were an unwitting prophecy of the life path I was destined to follow—a path where ‘backward’ would become my unique way forward.

Roots in Resilience

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Legally adopted by my maternal grandparents and raised on the west side of San Antonio, Texas, my grandfather, a WWII veteran, brought a blend of gritty realism into my life. Our neighborhood, marred by gang violence, was a place of untapped raging, raw potential, trying to make do with the harsh realities of intergenerational poverty. The street was our place of higher learning. My grandfather, a wise and battle-scarred man, often said to me, "I'm raising you tough because you're a girl, poor, and brown – that's three strikes against you." He didn’t mean to scare me but to prepare me for the world. He taught me to pay attention and to speak against injustice. Reading newspaper stories to me daily, he instilled in me the power of awareness. "Use words as your weapons," he advised. This became the core principle guiding my life.

 

The Power of Words

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Initially, it was my grandfather's influence that ignited my drive to pursue justice and truth in the world. Inspired to be a warrior like him, I turned to words instead of M-15's as my secret weapons. I spent hours using them to unveil the core truth of matters, stripping situations down to their most naked and essential nature. This skill proved invaluable not only in confronting social injustices but also in navigating the complexities of my dysfunctional family for my self-preservation. Articulating myself became a superpower.

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A Turning Point at Mother Jones

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After graduating college in my late twenties, I embarked on a new chapter with a full-time, unpaid internship at Mother Jones Magazine. This period marked a significant turning point in my life. I found myself amidst a sea of privilege – among interns and fellows whose perspectives were shaped in more financially supportive environments. This contrast revealed an essential truth: words, though inherently powerful, gain their true meaning from the wisdom and intentions behind them, deeply rooted in our life experiences, or lack thereof. My time at Mother Jones was an eye-opener, revealing to me that democracy and social change are fundamentally internal processes, taking shape within before manifesting in the world outside.

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Contrasts and Insights

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To sustain myself financially, I discovered that stripping was the only part-time work that paid sufficiently. My days were a study in stark contrast: by day, I was part of the bustling, well-respected environment of a magazine in a San Francisco high-rise; by night, I descended into the raw, red-lit naked underworld of Larry Flynt's Hustler Club. This journey brought a crucial insight: traditional journalism, bound by corporate influences, was too restrictive for me. In contrast, the raw, uncontrolled realm of stripping aligned with my quest for truth. It suited my deep interest in exploring gender, power, shame, the feminine, and cultural studies.

 

Embracing the Lilith Path

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What began as a necessary choice in sex work evolved into a conscious decision. Journalism, it became clear, was wearing too many clothes for me. For two decades, I delved into this world as an observer and active participant. I transformed my life into fieldwork. Finally, after 20 years, I stepped away from sex work and began compiling my wealth of knowledge. My mission became to educate women on the intricacies of primordial power, internalized shame, the power of language and symbols, propaganda, cultural hegemony, and the essential process of decolonization. It's about helping women uncover their inner suppression to see the external oppression they face more clearly. This journey ultimately led to the creation of The Lilith Academy where I facilitate learning spaces and teach women how to rediscover, embrace, and empower their unfiltered, naked selves.

 

Reflecting on Inherent Wisdom

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Reflecting on my childhood habit of starting at the end of mazes on cereal boxes, I see it as an early sign of listening to inherent, universal wisdom. Starting from the end taught me to live in harmony with the soul’s true desires rather than conforming to society's arbitrary rules designed to uphold the status quo.

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A Life Devoted to Liberation

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I yearned for an original life, one not confined to pre-existing molds. This is my life's work: total devotion towards the liberation of Lilith in the Self and in the world. Returning to the root of things so that we may build again with more integrity. I am deeply honored that women from diverse backgrounds have chosen to embark on this journey of The Great Work for the feminine here at The Lilith Academy